One of the reasons I've been writing less frequently is that I am in total and complete pain when sitting at the computer for any length of time. Unless I take something for it and we all know how ambitious anything we take for pain makes us. Not to mention the senseless schlock my brain would be committing to the perpetuity of the Internet. Finally, after putting it off for some time, I went to the doctor as I thought I might have carpal tunnel syndrome. After so many years on the computer, I just figured it caught up with me. Not so much.
What I've now learned about my body is that I have bulging discs in my neck. In my lower back I have a slipped disc. Not to mention that the arthritis that I have had intermittently in my fingers has also positioned itself in the bones of my spine. I have many bone spurs, so that even if they get the disc problem under control eventually this arthritis with time will become more of a problem. Not the news I expected or wanted to hear but hey I've dealt with a lot worse in my time and the people closest to me know that I speak the truth. I always have been and always will be the proverbial cat that still lands on its feet. After all, I haven't used up all of my nine lives, only 3 of them. I've still got the magic number 6 left. Insert snicker here for those that will get this plague of 6.
But still with all that news, that's not what I learned about myself. Following the x-rays my doctor wanted me to get two MRI's and an EMG. I was scheduled to go have the MRI's this past Tuesday. I never thought anything about it and left work early to go for my appointment. It's just the nature of my job that I usually end up being early for appointments because I get when the getting is good. I got to the doctors office and checked in. The MRI tech got all ready and I was ready so we started. The loud ticking of the machine wasn't scary but looking into that tiny space of the MRI was.
You all know that I am a bigger person so I asked. The tech was very reassuring that I would fit fine so I calmed down, laid down and focused on getting this two hours of my life over with. I would do anything to get out of this pain. Well I guess I should restate that to be almost anything. After placing the plate over my face the machine began to slide me head first into the machine and as the machine covered my face panic set in. I am not a panicky person so I tried to convince myself this is just a medical test I can take it. I inched a little further into the machine and this overwhelming feeling of being buried alive consumed me. My eyes are closed, hands were crossed on my body and I truly felt that this must be how it must feel to be dead. PANIC and I mean it in a screaming way. I was hitting that panic button for all it was worth and punching the sides of the machine to get out. I cannot tell you how it felt when they finally got me out but needless to say, I've never taken a better breath of air in my life than at that moment my head came out of the machine.
The MRI tech tried to be understanding and tried to calm me down but all I wanted was to be out of there. I went to the reception desk, explaining that I couldn't go through with the procedure because I felt like I was in a casket. To which the dimwit at the desk replied, "Well how do you know that? Have you ever been in one?" All of you that know me very well know I think fast so I replied "Well, I do know that I have several family members that are in one and I don't want to be the next to try it out, even in practice." Needless to say that pretty much shut her up.
Now we get to the point, here is what I learned about myself. I suffer from a bit of claustrophobia. I have been in many tight places including the little round cylinder in the airport where they lock you in and run air over your body to analyze the results and that's a pretty small space. I never had this problem before, so where did it come from? The intelligent side of me tells me that this is a routine test that millions of people have everyday with no problem but the illogical fear still rules my brain. I just can't get past this one.
I have now scheduled an open MRI for the same day I have the EMG on October 7th. I have heard that the open MRI is similar to a CAT Scanner and I've had that before without incident. So I'm hopeful that I will be able to have that done. They have informed me that if they can't do the open MRI that I would have to be put to sleep to have the test done. Without the test they cannot treat. Let's hope that I don't have to be put to sleep (like a sick dog) to have this test done. I'll report back because I know you'll all be waiting to read more about my medical adventures.
If it's any consolation, I'll be staying at a hotel in Dallas from Sunday to Wednesday and most of you already know how many wonderful adventures I have when I stay in hotels. Can you feel that sarcasm coming through yet?
I thought so... until next time...
~D~
Jesus! Sorry about your MRI experience! I thought that they only had open MRI's these days... I didn't realize they still had the old kind. Wishing you a better week ahead! :)
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